Less than 320 days, but more than 9 months

While everyone is headed back to school, college and settling into their new routines I started to feel the real effects of Jeb not being as close as 20 minutes away.

I knew this was going to be hard,

I knew I would hate it,

I knew it would only make us stronger.

What I didn't know was how emotional I would become.

I cry almost daily and usually its after I get off the phone with Jeb for the night, until I fall asleep.

I am 20 years old for pete sake!

I cry myself to sleep like a big ol' baby.

I saw this saying on "pinterest" the other day, it said

"What if I can't find my big girl pants?"

... I seriously thought about re-making a sign for my door.

Pathetic I know.

So finally last night while looking at "pinterest" again I decided to get over it.

On Sunday our pastor (who I haven't heard preach since last spring) (Who puts life into perspective better than any pastor I have ever listened to) anyways he was talking about how in the Bible it says that "to those who are blessed with much, much is required"

And I started to think about my blessings,

* Jeb has been asked to stay on the ranch for at least the next 3 months as a hired hand and is still loving his work.

* My new Mondays and Tuesday are filled with baby talk, giggles, singing song and reading books over and over again, and quiet time for me to get other projects done.

* Wednesday nights I go and have dinner with Jeb's momma (who is also alone all week long because her husband (and Jeb's dad) works in Riffle)
   {For some reason whenever I explain Sam's work situation everyone assumes either:
      A. Sam and Gail are divorced
                          -or-
       B. Sam is Jeb's step-dad
      I am happy to report that neither is true!}

* Its fall. which means a few different things,
     A. Mornings are cool, and calm (to me that is so peaceful)
      B. Football season, this is the one time of the year that I see so much passion flow from my dad. Which has been very hard for me to watch lately because I think that most of the time my dad has more passion for the boys that play and the sport itself than the athletes participating. It breaks my heart over and over again.
 Its like all the times in high school after I lost a starting position or, we lost a game, I could always hold my tears in until I reached my dad's arms, then, open the flood gates cuz it was coming.
This year though, I feel like I should be strong for him and hold it together when so many times since football camp in July I have just wanted to run into his arms and bawl, for the two of us.

    C. My sweaty body is starting to cool off and relax, I'm so looking forward to sweatshirts and socks again, and not having to peel off my bra at night because I;m soaked with sweat (TMI???)

     D. September The month my parents and both sets of Grandparents were married.

                     My dad's parent's will be married 50 years on the 2nd, I'm in aww every time I think about it. It gives me great joy to think of spending the next 50 years with Jeb, and when I look at my grandparents I can only hope for what they have. For the last probably close to 6 or 7 years, my grandma has cared for my grandpa 24 -7. Without her he would have to be in a home because he is 100% dependant on her.
    That is so much to ask of a person, but not once have I heard or watched my grandma regret any bit of it. She married him 50 years ago and she meant for life.

                      Living at home is teaching me a lot. I watch and listen to my parents and learn from their marriage, they will be celebrating 22 years this year, which in this world is just as crazy as 50 years. I know it has not been easy for the two of them, but I have the confidence that they will be celebrating their 50th in about 28 years.

                        My mom's mom died before my mom was ever married, and I can only imagine how hard every September 2nd has been for my Grandpa has been since then. I burst into tears all over again every time I get an un-expected phone call from Jeb just because it is one of my biggest fears. I can not imagine him not here. So for my grandpa, I cry even harder.

[I'm crying as a write... gosh... I'm a big baby]

* Every time something with the wedding gets costly or stressful, something else comes about,
          EXAMPLES
A. We thought that July 7th was going to be the Saturday during one of the biggest summer festivals in Westcliffe, (which means absolutely NO hotel rooms) I was online last week, working on adding the festival's web page to our wedding web site as an attraction, when I saw they moved the dates to the following weekend.

B. Our photographer  has always wanted to shoot a wedding in Westcliffe, so he is cutting our cost by $400 dollars.

, at 1/2 the price.

All of those are just to name a few.

I know I have been blessed, and I need to start blessing other people in return.

And I also need to buck up and quit being a baby.

So here it is:
A. instead of just re-pinning good ideas on pinterest, I'm going to make an effort to actually do them.
B. Care packages to everyone I miss at least every 2 months
C. The weight seriously needs to come off and stay off, I am the only one in control of that.
D. Laugh more and Cry less (A lot less)

Plus, September is the last 2 digit month until my wedding, even though that means were only a quarter of the way there. (I survived a whole 3 months whats another 9 :)

And I think I have almost every one's Christmas presents already figured out! :)

Mayo, Mustard,and Catch-up

So I know I have been a stranger for far to long, but a lot  has been happening!
First of all

Jeb finally gave me my ring!
 I love it! Its exactly what I wanted!

Next, we celebrated my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary in Greeley and took some family pictures

and a few spur of the moment engagement pictures.

That's just a quick update, more to come later!